17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

11/5/04
Dear Friends,
Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, inthe words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright side of life!' ThereIS some good news from Tuesday's election.
Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:
1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.
2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president sinceWoodrow Wilson in 1916.
3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults(Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are alwayswrong and you should never listen to them.
4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think thecountry is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)
5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in theSenate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack theSupreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats dotheir job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.
6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace ofour democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole WestCoast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water,all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them inlava. And no more show tunes!
7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just anyold nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut.May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.
8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America willno longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! Ifyou're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be trulygolden and you will be well cared for in your old age.
9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get marriedin 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won'thave to buy now.
10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress,including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good tohave more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidatescan't.
11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!
12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.
13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled statelegislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber(Montana House) is still undecided.
14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment thanthe one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out --and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard workthat will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12thgrade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat thenext four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at theranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved hispoint, avenged his father and kicked our ass.
15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a verydark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following twoscenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to theChristian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his earthat he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so thathistory will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push fortoo aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky andarrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of suchmajor proportions that even his own party will have to remove him fromoffice.
16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of votingage. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- itmeans we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yardsto go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 ofthose yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and gohome crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the threeyard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies arecoming!!!
17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for thecandidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the totalnumber of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore.Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking fora trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first timesince Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country hasalways been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news isthat so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact,that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the oneswho brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element ofsurprise in 2008.
Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "MyRomanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such awonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"
But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael Moore